1. |
Altamonte Mall
04:50
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when you’re a brantley brat and you ain’t got nuthin to do wee ooo wee ooo
there is a place you can go and buy a cassette by the who wee ooo wee ooo
see the girl in geometry who sits in class behind
you wee ooo wee ooo
she works at auntie anne’s selling pretzels dipped in
cheese goo wee ooo wee ooo
and then laugh at tweens buying clothes with mom and dad at burdeye -eee eye eeee ines
then laugh at office gals drunk at ruby tuesdays on cheap wi-eee-eye-eee-ine
then race up the escalators and see who gets the
fastest tie-ee-eye-ee-ime
and glare back at rent-a-cops who think youre committing a cry-ee-eye-ee-ime
and that’s the
altamonte mall altamonte mall
we walk around the altamonte mall
altamonte mall altamonte mall
allandin’s castle and spencer’s gifts
altamonte mall altamonte mall
exchange looks with girls but be too shy to talk to them
altamonte mall altamonte mall
don’t care about the springs let’s hit the altamonte mall
so call your friend with a car and ask if they will give
you a rye—eee-iiii-eeee—ide
down four thirty six there it is on the left hand
sigh-eee-eye—eee-ide
i want to buy a poster of a rock star who has
dye-eee-iiii-eeee-eyed
and then go to denny’s for a water and some
fry-eee-eye-eee-eyes
let’s find some lake mary dicks and see if we can start a
fi-ee-eye-eee-ight
or ask your older cousin to buy us some bud lye-ee-eye-eee-ight
then go to becky’s house and watch mtv all nye-eee-eye-eee-ight
and that my friend is an altamonte friday
nye-eee-eye-eee-ight
altamonte mall altamonte mall
we hang around the altamonte mall
altamonte mall altamonte mall
tinder box and good vibrations
altamonte mall altamonte mall
play home sweet home on the grand piano
altamonte mall altamonte mall
don’t care about disney let’s hit the altamonte mall
here's a guitar solo to tell you all about it
altamonte mall altamonte mall
we walk around the altamonte mall
altamonte mall altamonte mall
orange julius victoria’s secret
altamonte mall altamonte mall
try to talk to girls but be too shy to speak
altamonte mall altamonte mall
don’t care about wet n wild it’s the altamonte mall
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2. |
The Nice Price
03:41
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i rode my huffy to the mall
i didn’t have much money yeah
i was only thirteen years old
this was down in florida
where it was always so sunnayyy yeah
i never felt nunna that cold
so you better not think twice
and you better take my advice
and you better wear old spice
because the ladies dig a man with the sound
of the nice price
so i went to the musicland
to the cheapo cassette bin yeah
to see what might be appealing
and then i saw the guitar spaceship
that first album by boston, yeah
and holy shit it was way more than a feeling
they got the carole king, they got the reo, they got the elo, they got the leonard cohen, they got the abba baby, they got agnetha baby, frida and benny baby, they got the toto now, they got the journey now, they got bob dylan now, they got dictators now, they got the kansas now, spirit and argent now, they got the boz scaggs now, they got the epic records, they got the cbs….
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3. |
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thinking i’d like to get hip (so hip)
to all the nature shit around here (here here!)
maybe take a weekend camping trip (shroom trips)
or waveboard off an isolated pier (a pier)
or airboat through a gator-infested lake (jessup lake)
or meet a manatee or two or three or four (or more)
go to the everglades and kill invasive snakes (land sakes!)
or take a bioluminiscent kayak tour (oh for shoor)
maybe go nude at playalinda beach
or listen to a florida panther’s screech
i better hide my big city ‘tude
lest the locals find me to be mighty rude
don’t wanna canoe by myself, alright? (that’s right)
and i know canoes start significant other fights (row right!)
don’t wanna hike a nature trail all alone (alone)
i’d get lost when i lose service on my phone (smartphone)
i wanna surf smyrna’s shark a’ plentied waves (those waves)
and climb mount dora dressed like diamond dave (diamond dave!)
so show this city boy how tuh do (to do!)
and don’t laugh at my impractical shoes (chelsea boots?)
maybe i could get scuba certified
or deep sea swordfish for a big cash prize
i better hide my chicago ways and style
and learn to say “hey y’all!” and smile
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4. |
No Shorts!
02:07
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no shorts!
i don’t wanna wear shorts
jorts are ok
if i wear them sparingllay
but florida summer shorts
are so uncool (uncouth?) (unhip?) to me
i don’t care if i sweat
or if they get you wet
florida summer shorts
are so uncool to me
(viva pants and fashionable layers!)
they look so corny
don’t care if they make you horny
florida summer shorts
are so uncool to me
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5. |
Transparent Things
03:19
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6. |
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we were in love
but then we weren’t in love
but now we are in love again
heart to heart
face to face
holding hands cross the finish line
of this human race
eye to eye
cheek to cheek
we cannot go hide
when it’s true love that we seek
and it was found
but then it was lost
but it was found once more
and i was lost without you baby
so lost i don’t mean maybe because
chorus
at first it was good
but then it was bad
and it hurt me so much lady
you know it made me sad
sleepless nights
tears like rain
i was feeling so alone
i was feeling so much pain
cuz it was lost
but now it’s found
and it’s true luv once more
our heartbeats the same sound
and i neeeeeed you arouuuuuuund
there were times when we had it all
and i could not believe that we would ever ever fall
but we knew when push came to shove
that nothing in this world could end this endless love
end this endless love no!
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7. |
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8. |
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“do you have what it takes to be a bunnyman?”
ian asked of me
and so i took the bass guitar and played along to “burn it clean”
then they gave me a workbook called “how to be a bunnyman”
it was a big three ring binder with 500 plastic sheets
i knew that i could do it but i wasn’t sure if i had the right look
i had the pensive brooding down and mccullough said that that is all it took
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9. |
This Phone is a Dick
04:40
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10. |
Wait
03:12
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